One from the archives

I've been slogging around in some old email archives, and found this email I sent to a customer twelve years ago. This customer wanted to buy one pair of not-very-expensive item. Italic text is customer, plain text is me:

Wondering if there's any discount I can get? Something like:
1. Wholesale or commercial discount
2. Volume discount

1. Volume discounts apply at volume quantities.
2. Wholesale discounts apply at wholesale quantities.
3. Commercial discounts apply at commercial quantities to customers with a valid state-issued business number on file.

3. Good guy discount - and yes, I do qualify ;-)

I take you at your word that you're eligible for the Good Guy discount. Me, I'm eligible for the takes-the-time-to-work-individually-with-each-potential-customer-to-
one-size-fits-all surcharge,
and the discount and the surcharge cancel each other out.

After Black Friday comes Wack Saturday...

So, Saturday night, this happened: Customer comes in with wife and baby at 2 minutes til close. " I want to buy a rug. I've been spending a LOT of money today, so I'm gonna need you to give me deep discounts, because, you know, I'm here. Now I'm going to want a $225 rug for $99 because I don't like any of the $99 rugs, they look cheap. Now I'm going to go to another section to shop and I expect you to stick with me. Because I spent a lot of money somewhere else today. And I need a discount. So, anyway...Wait. What? Honey where'd she go? She ran out the back when I looked away? It's only 10 after 9! And we didn't get our discount!" True story. Paraphrased, but true.
  • pncwho

I am not a dog!

Still working at the fabric store. There is one customer who has been getting on my nerves. She seems nice enough when I'm helping her, but when I finish cutting her fabric or otherwise serving her, she doesn't say, "thank you," she says, "good girl!" Yes, in the exact same tone of voice you would use to praise your dog for fetching your slippers.

Has anyone else been addressed in this way? What kind of person considers it acceptable to address their fellow human beings like dogs?

I wonder if she'd get the clue if I replied with "woof" next time she said "good girl."
  • Current Mood
    irritated irritated

we're cheap, but not that cheap

Dear lady who wants to adopt a dog,
Our adoption fee is $75.00 for a dog. That is $75.00 when you adopt, not five bucks down and you'll 'pay the rest when you can' No, not all the crying and sobbing of your kids, nor your assurances that you 'will pay the full price, but just not now' is gonna sway us.
the adoption fee is still $75.00. Believe us when we tell you that you will NOT find ANY other humane society around this area that is that low. Other humane society charges fifty bucks more for their dogs. I've seen other humane societies that charge as much as $200.00 for a dog. As it is, we might have to raise our prices.

thanks for stopping by...
Atlantis - FAIL

Thank you for calling... How can I help you?

It is amazing how many people feel that it is the cellphone company's responsibility to pay for cellphone manufacturer mistakes and errors. To a certain extent -- yes, we are there to help and to assist. And yes, there are manufacturer defects that we definitely will cover on behalf of the manufacturer...

...No, you will not get a brand new phone.

A man came on the line, and he was angry. Livid. I was able to get my "appreciation" in and my "initial response" in, but after that he went on a 5 minute long tangent on what my company was going to do for him. What I was going to process for him, or else.

"My wife's phone isn't working and this is unacceptable! I've already troubleshooted the device. We've already done everything and it's all on the account, so I'm done with this. Give me a new phone. Just give me a new phone! You're going to send me out a new phone for this--I'm done troubleshooting, we've done it all. So you send it out right now. I don't want a refurbished phone--I want a NEW PHONE." He spat through the call.

I tried my best to position troubleshooting the device despite him refusing to tell me what is going on with the phone. I let him know that I'm very skilled in getting cellphones to behave, so I'd love to have a go at getting his phone working because I know how frustrating it can be to lose information with a phone you can't turn on and switching devices.

He pretty much repeats the previous paragraph. And now 15 minutes have passed. Great. I should have had this solved by now and on to the next customer. He is still insistent; and finally I realize I need to be more direct with him.

"I understand your frustration, sir. It is my goal to help you and resolve your concerns. However, I will not replace your phone with a certified like new replacement until we've troubleshooted your phone."

I made a point to call it "certified like new" so he knew we aren't in the business of ordering new phones. I don't even have the choice to choose a new phone by sku or otherwise when I process a warranty replacement...

He flipped!

"What the !@#$?! You're going to !@#$ing replace my phone with a brand new !@#$ing phone! I am tried of this $%#&. I am paying for a warranty on this damn phone and I expect to get a brand new !@#$ing phone for it! I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE A USED GODDAMN PHONE. !@#$ING REPLACE MY PHONE. REPLACE IT NOW!--"

"Sir, I definitely understand your reason for frustration. I am doing my best to help you today, however I am having a difficult time understanding you due to some of the choice words you're using. I'd really appreciate it if we could be more civil with one another." I interrupted and responded in a quiet tone (people tend to quiet down if you do in tone).

He paused a moment, as if he was surprised I called him out on his childish temper tantrum. However, it was only momentarily.


"Please, sir. I am more than empowered to help you today."


"Thank you for your patience. We would be more than happy to replace your phone for you with a certified like new replacement once we have completed all troubleshooting steps." Mind you, I was being as kind as I could. None of my words or tone of voice was out of spite or in attempt to be difficult.


At this point, I could have gotten him to our escalation department, which isn't a group of supervisors. But he didn't let me do anything with his phone or account. He denied me the ability to run a diagnostic on his phone in question, and we weren't getting anywhere. I wasn't going to cost the company another $30 dollars to transfer him to the escalations department (yes, every transfer in a company costs it money), who were going to tell him the same thing as me.

"[Name], I am not going to transfer you to a supervisor. You haven't given me the opportunity to help you."

Incomprehensible words and he hung up. He didn't say goodbye, and if someone listened to the call there's no way that someone could know for sure it was an intentional hangup. So... I had to call him back.

He didn't answer and I left a very kind message on his voicemail about where he can get support -- over the phone, online, at a store -- and if he's calling in to troubleshoot to call in from a device other than the one we're troubleshooting.

He did call back, which connected him to another representative, which hurt my stats for 3 day repeats. Evidently he admitted that he had broken and damaged his phone. He never shared that with me. That was a game changer... the warranty doesn't cover damage to the phone. Only manufacturer defects.
  • quamp

Caught in the Middle of Suckage

I wear glasses. Recently, I had to get an eye exam. Being an older person, for the first time I required bifocal lenses to help me read up close things. When I went to the glasses store to have my new prescription filled, I was told it would be about 10 days to get it. Well, ten days come and go, and nothing. I call the store, all I get is an automatic message. So I go down there and ask what happened. The store's clerk tells me that one of the lab technicians had his daughter get sick and that they've had trouble meeting deadlines and they were still trying to call people to let them know this. I was then told it should be ready in three days. I was fine with that; however, a woman standing nearby wasn't. "Are you really gonna let them walk all over you like that!?" She asked. She then started griping at the worker at the counter for not having my special prescription filled in time. I tried in vain to stop her, but she just ended up making an idiot out of herself. I then rolled my eyes at her and told her to give the store a break and walked off with her still nagging at the clerk.

What does it matter to you if my prescription isn't filled in a timely manner? They had a good reason why they didn't do this. You did not have any reason to butt in and go all fanbrat about everything.
  • Current Mood
    aggravated aggravated

Just a few explanations, and some WTF's

Dearest customers,
Yes, we now have 'local vet' to do our vetting and help get our animals ready for adoption. Quite a few of those kittens ARE ready because we FINALLY got their rabies shots. There are some changes.
'Local vet' prefers to do the spay/neuter at three months, not two months. This way, they get fixed AND the rabies shot all at once. So, no more two month old kittens will be ready for adoption. Yes, I know, this is horrid, so many WANT those adorable little fluffheads. As it is, you'll just have to wait. That being said, 'local vet' may only do spay/neuter/rabies once a week, if that....doesn't mean we'll have sudden masses of animals ready. Along with the fact, we will want to make sure rescue waggin dogs are cats do take a back seat.
One great thing, you can go to 'local vet' for your new family member. They will have records on it, will KNOW it well enough, and will have an idea of anything that might be wrong. (if anything) We will also be doing a foster to adopt program where you can foster the baby you want (usually puppies) then take to 'local vet' so they can do the vetting. (we are also doing a 'we take animal to 'local vet' and you pick up from them...but that is another deal)
This all being said, yes, as a matter of fact, we are STILL full. 'Local Vet' came in to give rabies shots. (and took one kitten back to office for a problem that has just arisen) Just because I now have a lobby full of adoptable kittens and cats, doesn't mean I have any more cages. You see, in order for us to have cages available, we have to have animals adopted out. Those dogs, cats, kittens and pups who got their rabies shots, well, they are still here, occupying those cages and kennels. (and while I do have empty cages in the back, I also, by law, must have some cages available in case Animal Control brings in any cats or kittens) Frankly, as soon as those in my 'ready for fixing' room are fixed, they'll have to wait for cages up front in the lobby. (we will allow people back in that room to look at them, doesn't mean they can't be adopted from that room as well) Still for every adoption, we seem to get two more new cats or kittens.

Parents, please to be watching your children. While most of my cats and kittens don't mind having fingers poking at them, a couple of them do. I consider it a learning experience to have Charles swat at someone who has ignored his hissings and keeps poking at him. Oddly, some parents seem to get all pissed off and upset that their darling angel got scratched by mean and evil kitty. (who has signs all over his cage to NOT poke at him) (for Charles, his cage does have places where he can go hide if he gets stressed out, we haven't had any incidents since putting him in that cage)

Again...the next asswipe who screams at any of us that he/she will be 'dumping the damned animal' I'm going out to get your license place number. I'll also see about getting a description of the animal, if it hasn't been brought in. Animal Control will then get that information. If nothing else, maybe our lovely animal control lady can explain to you that dumping an animal like that is just wrong. (she IS a cop, after all...)

Really? REALLY???

I've been working part-time as a cashier at my local large-chain grocery store since January to earn some extra money (saving up for a big vacation next year). And there are several general sucks I've noticed.

Collapse )

I am thankful I am only part-time and I know this gig is only temporary. Otherwise, I think I'd go crazy...or at least be more belligerent with the customers, which probably wouldn't be great for my prospects of keeping this job. :-)

Well....we tried

Ok, so at the Humane Society, I've got a cat. (ok, ok, as of leaving, I had 23) Anyway, this cat, he's big, he's not afraid of showing that he's not happy about stuff. Mostly like kids. He was adopted, brought back (always bad, cause that messes them up) then adopted again, and brought back (this time for biting a kid...not hard enough, but Mommy got all upset cause her lil precious baby MIGHT get hurt...yeah, keep pulling a cats tail, you WILL) So...I've gotten him calmed down, about as friendly as I can get him. Showing him lots of love and cuddles. Guy comes in, with four year old, sucking on a pacifier. (the kid, not the guy)
He's looking for a cat. Well, we don't have a HUGE selection, but here is what we have. Two pretty friendly kittens, one very sweet, but long haired cat, one pretty bobtail, and a super sweet friendly orange tabby...and other BIG cat. This guy decides big cat is JUST what he needs....then hits me with he's got two other cats. This cat does NOT like other animals. He's got the four year old...the sign on the cage says 'no children under ten' I tell him cat's WILL bite or scratch children.
He still wants cat...and asks if we give vouchers for declawing. After I explain that we do not, and do not advocate such...also go back to explaining (and showing) that cat does NOT like other cats, especially kittens...and he can be fairly mean.
Guy leaves, after saying he'll think about it, but probably will be back to adopt cat.
I dread to think of what will happen.